Ten Years as a Photographer - a side hustle to full time

This week marks 10 years of being a photographer although I wasn’t comfortable giving myself that title until at least 5 years into it. And even now, I struggle with Imposter Syndrome. 

When I got married in 2010, one of our wedding gifts was a camera to document the journey of our family. My Dad was a professional sports photographer so I’d been around it my whole life and developed a love of taking photos. 

Within a week, the love had grown rapidly. I was hooked. I started shooting landscapes and going out at night doing long exposures. My brother was working in events at the time and landed me a pass to be in the photo pit for the band Birds of Tokyo. We were given the first 3 songs and weren’t allowed to use flash. Almost impossible with my skill set at the time but a piece of cake now. 

I made contact with some music mags and was given passes to shoot names like Chemical Brothers, Tool, Pendulum, Iggy Pop, Helmet and Dizzee Rascal. It was cool but making a living off shooting music was going to be a struggle. 

A mate of mine asked me to shoot his wedding in 2011. I was reluctant! Not because of my level of experience but because every photographer I met during my time shooting music said that weddings were painful. 

I shot that wedding and had fun. It was nothing like they said. I built a website, did a styled shoot and booked my first paid wedding in late 2011. I had no idea that being a second photographer for an experienced professional was probably the better way to get into the industry. 

That first paid wedding actually cost me $1800 to do because I took what I got paid and put more of my own money towards a second camera. I felt much more confident that day. 

One thing I didn’t anticipate was anxiety. The pressure I put on myself to do a good job was immense. I adopted the fake it til you make it strategy which in hindsight, wasn’t a good idea for me personally. The problem with it was that because I was living a fake existence, not being honest about my level of experience, I wasn’t serving myself and my couples in the best way I could. I should have been more open about where I was as a photographer so that the pressure was more appropriate. 

By 2015 I was doing around 40 weddings each year. By 2016, I’d overdone it. I ended up in hospital with a stress-induced seizure. My body stopped me. I had two kids under 3, a full-time printing business that demanded a lot from me and I’d just finished 48 weddings in 40 weeks. A few months later, my marriage ended. My world was crumbling and it was “everyone's fault but mine”. It wasn’t, it was me that needed to wake up and find myself. 

After a crushing 12 months, which also included a knee injury, issues with addiction and two car accidents, I finally found myself. I’m not the type to find myself during a trip to India. I found myself through trauma and diving deep within. 

My world made more sense now and my intentions were aligned with who I truly am as a person. What I learnt was how to run myself both physically and mentally a lot better. I learnt that meditation, relaxation, acceptance and understanding were far better tools and treatments for my anxiety than pharmaceutical options. 

I also discovered that rather than feeling envious of people in love, I can spin it on its head and feel extremely fortunate to witness it from such close proximity. Love is elusive and special and those that have it are to be celebrated.

I’m now over 400 weddings into a career that almost ended. My mind and soul have needed the break this year but it has only strengthened my love for photography. I’m 3 years clean and sober too.